mishaoverlord:

ex-cuse-u:

i was browsing through ellen degeneres’ youtube videos and when i was watching her interview segments i noticed a trend where she keeps the comments enabled for all of her adult interviews but when she has a child on the show she disables any of the comments to protect the child from any bullying or negative feedback and that is why she and her team of producers are incredible

(via j1zztastic)

megaman2:

megaman2:

“mickey mouse it says you want to divorce minnie because she was…… extremely silly?”

“no, i said she was fucking goofy”

please stop reblogging this i stole this joke from my brother

(via j1zztastic)

Awkward Family Photos with Danny McBride and Maya Rudolph (x)

(Source: mayawiig, via wiigz)

doctorheavenharkness:

n0kil7ing:

sevenseasaurus:

Science experiment: Who is easiest to summon?

Egberts?

Pizza?

John Green?

A vegan?

The only way to find out is to reblog and wait. Wait patiently. Just wait. It will be good I promise.

fuck you vegans aren’t your source of entertainment you animal killers. 

and the vegan wins

(via nalafisch)

(Source: ruinedchildhood, via brokenhopelessly)

ham-and-pineapple:

  pizza:

mozzarella-cheese:

Fun fact:

Me and the Tumblr user Pizza used to date. We were always together and such. I hate to say it now but I was always on top.

Oh hey babe! Haven’t talked to you in ages xx

ahh shit well this is awkward

(via idi0syncracies)

elkane:

Jack Dawson… Penniless artist who wins a ticket onto Titanic in 1912, attends a first class dinner, develops a taste for the finer things in life, pockets the Heart of the Ocean, survives the sinking, pawns the diamond, spends the following ten years building his wealth and in 1922 moves to West Egg as Jay Gatsby… Millionaire with a shady past and fear of swimming pools.

(via ohmymockingjay)

teenytigress:

SO THIS GUY IN MY ENGLISH IS DOING A PROJECT FOR BIO WHERE HE GETS A DUCKLING TO IMPRINT ON HIM SO HE JUST CARRIES IT AROUND WITH HIM TO ALL OF HIS CLASSES AND I SWEAR THIS DUCK IS THE MOST WELL BEHAVED FUCKING POULTRY IVE EVER SEEN IT JUST SITS ON HIS DESK QUIETLY AND SOMETIMES HE PUTS IT IN HIS POCKET AND IT JUST SLEEPS LIKE WOW YOU GO DUCKY

(via idi0syncracies)

makkine:

makkine:

Oh my god this is giving me flashbacks to when Disney announced it was buying club penguin and there was a literal actual penguin protest in front of the clothes shop for like 4 hours straight I love society

(via j1zztastic)

royal-high:

a kid from my school just got expelled today for pretending to be russian for 8 months. he pretended he couldn’t read, write or talk english  he did good in all his classes because he had all the teachers and principles convinced he just moved from russia, so they didn’t make him do any work

(via j1zztastic)